please end my dads apple stand
Oh nothing, just the end of the world
So after hand painting our kitchen to look like the set of Changing Channels the apartment complex is going to start renovating it either next week or the week after.
Don’t be surprised if hectic last-minute pictures of it start flooding your dash
Son of a bitch.
I know men like him. I’ve served under them. They push you and make you stronger, till you’re doing things you never thought you could. I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you. You weren’t even scared. And you should’ve been.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Re: Your Anaconda,
Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.
A bunless hun
Sasquatch Music Festival 2013 [x]
my response to everything is either no or i don’t know.
an english major, an art major, and a film major walk into a bar
they all get ridiculed for pursuing what they love
me:*fails a quiz*
drake: i’m just sayin you could do better
me:*studies harder graduates valedictorian and cures cancer*
through the years…